Taking responsibility for your anger

If the prevailing anger and hostility could be used to fuel a rocket ship, then I think that it would have enough energy  to be able to go around the earth many many times. 

There is so much anger in the air at the moment. Road rage, public displays of anger, couples fighting, aggressive actions and hostility are all the result of the raging emotions that are running riot in our society right now.

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like all other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart begins to race and your blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and nor-adrenaline.

We all familiar with the emotion of anger, but sometimes it becomes such an automatic response or a common occurrence in our daily interactions, that we really don’t question why we are angry.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person such as a coworker or supervisor, or an event like a traffic jam, or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Anger may be a response that we have when we feel threatened or afraid. Angry feelings may also erupt when there is a perception of unfulfilled expectations. If we have an expectation of another person or situation and matters don’t go the way we want them to, we may respond in anger or frustration.  Sometimes the anger that we feel is not even associated to the immediate situation that we are in but relates to previous experiences that caused hurt or pain.

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry but it’s what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.

Developing healthier methods for expressing anger can help to build stronger relationships and improve communication.  It is best to discuss your feelings when you are in a calm state and not when you are still furious as you may not see things in their correct context. Use diplomacy and tact when you discuss your feelings and avoid criticism and blame. As soon as you go into blame, you deprive yourself of the responsibility and the power to achieve your goals or to get what you want. Once this happens it is impossible to bring about the constructive change that you want in your life.